2020: Reflection

 

The start of the month is an excellent time to reflect on what has passed and get ready to embrace the new year ahead of me. 

I read several blogs on productivity and somehow found a post related to what I did to make me happier. I want to share it with others as this post might help people to have new habits. It is about to stop complaining about the problem that happened to you. Maybe I have not fully implemented this yet, but I hope it will inspire others to do things that make themselves happier.

1. It was pointless to complain about things I can't control

• Worrying or overthinking won't change things unless I do the action matter.
• Only me, myself, had the power to change things that were bothering me.  
• I can't control everything, much less the things that other people do, think, or say. But I can control my reaction and response to that.
• A more useful option to manage your complaint would be noticing what is not working and then creating a better alternative solution.
• Do not do anything just to gain recognition or appreciation. Do not do anything to revenge the complaint you have. Working on my purposes is my ultimate goal. Don't do anything for anyone but yourself. because the clock is ticking.
• What other people think of you is none of your business. but that doesn't mean being irresponsible. be cautious about what you do can affect other people's lives. still, be responsible

2. I began to focus more on the present

• As I progressed through my difficulties, I realized that lots of my complaints were directed toward "What Ifs". I work hard on how things would work better.
• I see my difficulties as opportunities to grow, evaluate, and make better choices in the future.
• I focus more on making plans for my next decision and improve my capabilities to change things.
• I never blame the system I was in or the people I interact with because I realized I can not change it according to my preferences. That way, I focus on what I should do to adapt to the present.
• Seeing the negativity does not make me happy. I try to see the blessings given to me despite all difficulties. With that being said I become more grateful.

3. I stopped using complaining as a bonding mechanism

• I realize that I have a circle of close friends who have a positive and open mindset. Discussion about how to turn a complaint into real action would be fruitful in the circle of positivity. If you display positive action, at least in your mindset and words, you will attract more positivity in your surrounding environment like a magnet.
• I also tend to avoid negatives, gossip, or blaming discussions. It would bring me healthy fresh thoughts.
• I stay silent when the conversation starts to lead to negativity. I talk according to the fact, not opinion. Don't force someone to be you.
• No one must do good to you, except your parent.
• Choose to be around positive people with respect and good attitudes.

4. I started to focus more on myself and less on what others were doing

• I stop complaining about things that were directed toward the action of others as I began to realized that I can't change people's mindsets and attitudes unless they change themselves.
• The way I can change people by inspiring them with the thoughts and actions I had implicitly. 
• I convey what I want to changes starts with myself. I began to pay attention to what I am doing. It is a hundred percent works for me.
• If something feels too much, move on in your situation now. Yourself, but don't force others to move or change. People should respect everyone's right to stay or leave. Let it go, slowly. 
• Forgive everyone, everything. Time heals almost everything.

5. I became a happier person

• "When we focus on what is bothering us or not working in our lives, we automatically enter a space of negativity and pessimism and attract more of the same". Those who tend to complain release higher stress, time reduction, delayed progress, and reduced life quality.
• Focus on looking for positivity in our life, outlook, reaction, and the way we approach life changes.
• You don't have to like the people you complain about. you just had to do business with them. Create boundaries for being professional and personal life. Choose your people, but don't be close-minded. Respect above all.
• Complaining about other people behind their back is a waste of time and won't change anything.
• Event > Outcome > Reaction. If there are things that make you complain, think about the outcome you want to achieve, after that choose your reaction. If you react first before thinking, maybe you will not achieve optimal results. Your efforts covered by your emotional negative reaction results in less productivity and resentment.

6. Taking a break from complaining made me more grateful

• Whenever a situation triggers a complaint, instead, find things you could be thankful for about the situation.
• Take at least 5 minutes to find the source of your happiness within yourself. For example, listening to music or watching videos you like that would divert your mind at the time.
• Do lots of activities that you like and increase your self-confidence. I do work out, call my families and friends. 
• Practice self-love.
• If you feel unfair, look at the condition of other people who you think are less fortunate than you.
• Be thankful that God is giving you more hurdles to overcome to elevate yourself. Everything happens for a reason.